New York Man Sues Bumble Bee Tuna Alleging Mercury Poisoning

October 20, 2010

  • October 21, 2010 at 8:41 am
    Eli says:
    Like or Dislike:
    Thumb up 0
    Thumb down 0

    What’s the difference between a piano and a fish?

  • October 21, 2010 at 10:05 am
    wudchuck says:
    Like or Dislike:
    Thumb up 0
    Thumb down 0

    neither, because they both are sharps and flats!

  • October 21, 2010 at 12:30 pm
    Reagan says:
    Like or Dislike:
    Thumb up 0
    Thumb down 0

    The Great REO Speedwagon, how I miss them

  • October 21, 2010 at 3:27 am
    Ben Dover says:
    Like or Dislike:
    Thumb up 0
    Thumb down 0

    That’s right. I am going to sue NASA for failing to distribute warning labels on the dangers of excess gravity.

    Gravity, or more correctly, living in a gravity field such as our fine planet, tends to produce spinal injuries by causing the gradual compression and dessication of disks which leads to nerve root impingement and a host of other serious, loss-of-hedonia maladies. (Like plane crashes but I digress.)

    I myself suffer from occasional sciatica (PITA syndrome)as a direct and indirect result of gravity. NASA has a duty to warn the public and they failed to do so — willfully I might add.

    Now here’s the tie-in: Everyone knows mercury is heavier than air. Do you know why? That’s right: GRAVITY. Where do fish live and breathe? In the water. Water is always lower than the air. We breath air. Is tuna a fish? Of course.

    Hopefully, you can see where I am going with this logic. Tuna, forced to breath water, ingest mercury because of gravity. Then people like Mr. Excessive Tuna Eater consume tuna — and mercury.

    Had NASA issued warnings about gravity, Mr. 10 Cans, as any reasonable person would do, would either cut back or abstain from eating a lot of tuna.

    So once again, our Big Government has failed us. The bastards. They won’t stop until we are all victims.

    The only remedy because you can’t vote them all out of office at the same time, is to sue them.

  • October 21, 2010 at 3:58 am
    jdoe says:
    Like or Dislike:
    Thumb up 0
    Thumb down 0

    Hey, Reagan, thanks for getting the reference!!

    “Roll With The Changes”… one of the best piano solos ever heard on a rock & roll song!

  • October 21, 2010 at 5:51 am
    Monty says:
    Like or Dislike:
    Thumb up 0
    Thumb down 0

    Who are you, that is so wise in the ways of science?



Add a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*