No worries. I am so glad I married someone with a little temper. If I ever changed my forgiving stance, I would gladly pay my husband to get me some physical restitution which is PRICELESS!
While I am not a direct victim, I am an indirect one in that my wife was abused (uncle and boyfriend) long before we were married. It did not come to light until she began to see a counselor for a generalized malaise that she could not pinpoint. Fortunately, he was well versed in sexual abuse, and identified the problem within 2 months. There were many ugly times during therapy and along the road to recovery–and although there may not be a lighted sign that says, “IT’S OVER”, it does not consume her.
My point is that reliving the occurrence(s) in a public forum is pointless–and a dirtbag that chooses to abuse is not likely to be reformed or contrite. Counseling, and coming to a realization that the victim did not perpetrate the bad act is the key–not receipt of a jury verdict or settlement check.
It seems that for someone to not have the intestinal fortitude to come forward for THIRTY YEARS and only then after it’s become vogue and a source of quick cash is more than coincidence. I agree it’s all about the money otherwise they wouldn’t be asking for any. These kinds of things deserve an apology, reimbursement of medical expenses, and a fund to educate the clergy and prevent this going forward. Sending people to Disneyland makes no sense.
I am truly saddened to hear of the number of victims of sexual abuse (just in the IJ forum, no less), but I often wander if some of the “victims” would accept a lifetime of counseling in lieu of a multi-million dollar settlement. Has anyone heard of a similar suit, in which the alleged perp. was exonerated? If so, was his/her reputation completely restored?
One question needs to be answered: Why now? Why now, after 30+ years is this person suddenly coming forward and alleging he was molested? I agree with the idea of awarding counseling, but I am violently opposed to monetary settlements that don’t address the alleged “injury”. No amount of money resolves a psychological injury. Why does everything have to involve money? How deep has this society sunk?
Unfortunately society will only go deeper into the mire the more people are thrown huge gobs of cash for alleged incidents from decades ago. At least this time the alleged perp is still alive.
I have a message for him – get over it. It really is that simple. I did it. My sister did it. You just don’t let it affect your life. It truly is that simple. We did it without money and without the ability to send the guy to jail. We just got over it.
For those without whatever it takes to simply walk away from abuse, get some counseling. That should be the judgement – convicted perp to pay for counseling. Giving these people huge wads of cash only entices more people to sue for huge wads of cash. It does not give people “closure”, it does not prevent future abuse, it does not encourage true victims to come forth. Stop handing out money.
Some of the comments made about working for a living, this gentleman i know personally and has the work ethic of our father and so many of you are so quick to judge about this man when you don’t know anything about him. Since the time after all this has happened, this man learned God’s word, and to see what has been going on for years not just in the catholic church this is a sin problem. I remember Brother Kerry, and befriended my parents and I also remember after this abuse took place. I was a young kid, but I remember how it turned this young man on fire for God into a confused adult, but I also remember the day of his baptism. Giving his life to Christ. I know his heart and what really needs to happen here, Brother Kerry needs to go to God and ask him for forgiveness and do the same with this gentleman. People are always so quick to say it’s about money and all they need to do is hear the real story. What you need to ask for is for the media to show the physical proof, the picture of him drinking beer with these teenagers. Not one of those teenagers in the picture are old enough to buy alcohol. There is also a letter from Brother Kerry apologizing for what he did. Well the family kept that letter all these years. Don’t blame the planktiff for the sin that somebody else has committed. There is a lot of good God loving people in the catholic church. The problem is you want to think the best of a person and praying to God that they will change, I think thats why clergy men or priests are moved around. But the bible says to warn them once, warn them twice, bring them before the church, and if they don’t change then have nothing to do with them. Of course pray for them.
Pirate – I know everything I need to know about the case just from the fact that monetary damages are being asked for. The rest is moot in the eyes of the public. If what he wants is justice he shouldn’t sue for money. Justice would involve proving the priest guilty and having him sent to prison; not getting money from the church.
And churches need to realize they have to live under the law of the land too. They shouldn’t have the ability to punish internally for crimes committed by the clergy. These people should be hauled in front of a secular court and thrown in prison. Anybody who abets abuse by tranferring priests with criminal history to cover up the crimes should also be thrown in prison. Maybe if enough of them suffer true justice to be done they will realize that God may demand forgiveness, but the Constitution demands justice and will live accordingly.
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No worries. I am so glad I married someone with a little temper. If I ever changed my forgiving stance, I would gladly pay my husband to get me some physical restitution which is PRICELESS!
I wholly see your point.
While I am not a direct victim, I am an indirect one in that my wife was abused (uncle and boyfriend) long before we were married. It did not come to light until she began to see a counselor for a generalized malaise that she could not pinpoint. Fortunately, he was well versed in sexual abuse, and identified the problem within 2 months. There were many ugly times during therapy and along the road to recovery–and although there may not be a lighted sign that says, “IT’S OVER”, it does not consume her.
My point is that reliving the occurrence(s) in a public forum is pointless–and a dirtbag that chooses to abuse is not likely to be reformed or contrite. Counseling, and coming to a realization that the victim did not perpetrate the bad act is the key–not receipt of a jury verdict or settlement check.
It seems that for someone to not have the intestinal fortitude to come forward for THIRTY YEARS and only then after it’s become vogue and a source of quick cash is more than coincidence. I agree it’s all about the money otherwise they wouldn’t be asking for any. These kinds of things deserve an apology, reimbursement of medical expenses, and a fund to educate the clergy and prevent this going forward. Sending people to Disneyland makes no sense.
I am truly saddened to hear of the number of victims of sexual abuse (just in the IJ forum, no less), but I often wander if some of the “victims” would accept a lifetime of counseling in lieu of a multi-million dollar settlement. Has anyone heard of a similar suit, in which the alleged perp. was exonerated? If so, was his/her reputation completely restored?
One question needs to be answered: Why now? Why now, after 30+ years is this person suddenly coming forward and alleging he was molested? I agree with the idea of awarding counseling, but I am violently opposed to monetary settlements that don’t address the alleged “injury”. No amount of money resolves a psychological injury. Why does everything have to involve money? How deep has this society sunk?
Unfortunately society will only go deeper into the mire the more people are thrown huge gobs of cash for alleged incidents from decades ago. At least this time the alleged perp is still alive.
I have a message for him – get over it. It really is that simple. I did it. My sister did it. You just don’t let it affect your life. It truly is that simple. We did it without money and without the ability to send the guy to jail. We just got over it.
For those without whatever it takes to simply walk away from abuse, get some counseling. That should be the judgement – convicted perp to pay for counseling. Giving these people huge wads of cash only entices more people to sue for huge wads of cash. It does not give people “closure”, it does not prevent future abuse, it does not encourage true victims to come forth. Stop handing out money.
Eloquent.
I love how a couple of million will “… give the victim a chance to gain back his innocence and live a life of dignity”. What a crock of crap.
Some of the comments made about working for a living, this gentleman i know personally and has the work ethic of our father and so many of you are so quick to judge about this man when you don’t know anything about him. Since the time after all this has happened, this man learned God’s word, and to see what has been going on for years not just in the catholic church this is a sin problem. I remember Brother Kerry, and befriended my parents and I also remember after this abuse took place. I was a young kid, but I remember how it turned this young man on fire for God into a confused adult, but I also remember the day of his baptism. Giving his life to Christ. I know his heart and what really needs to happen here, Brother Kerry needs to go to God and ask him for forgiveness and do the same with this gentleman. People are always so quick to say it’s about money and all they need to do is hear the real story. What you need to ask for is for the media to show the physical proof, the picture of him drinking beer with these teenagers. Not one of those teenagers in the picture are old enough to buy alcohol. There is also a letter from Brother Kerry apologizing for what he did. Well the family kept that letter all these years. Don’t blame the planktiff for the sin that somebody else has committed. There is a lot of good God loving people in the catholic church. The problem is you want to think the best of a person and praying to God that they will change, I think thats why clergy men or priests are moved around. But the bible says to warn them once, warn them twice, bring them before the church, and if they don’t change then have nothing to do with them. Of course pray for them.
Pirate – I know everything I need to know about the case just from the fact that monetary damages are being asked for. The rest is moot in the eyes of the public. If what he wants is justice he shouldn’t sue for money. Justice would involve proving the priest guilty and having him sent to prison; not getting money from the church.
And churches need to realize they have to live under the law of the land too. They shouldn’t have the ability to punish internally for crimes committed by the clergy. These people should be hauled in front of a secular court and thrown in prison. Anybody who abets abuse by tranferring priests with criminal history to cover up the crimes should also be thrown in prison. Maybe if enough of them suffer true justice to be done they will realize that God may demand forgiveness, but the Constitution demands justice and will live accordingly.