Explosive? I like your thinking Dread. Of course, that would complicate my getting the iPod back plus the lost music. Maybe an electrical charge? You can get a lot of juice out of a battery. Enough to cause some pretty cool physical effects.
And you are right, there is a certain element of society that tends toward these types of crime. There are also others that for some reason rationlize their behavior in the face of desperation. We have all heard the stories of people who break under circumstances that overwhelm them. I don’t think it excuses their behavior, but it explains it better than “they were evil, bad, nasty people”.
=There are also others that for some reason rationlize their behavior in the face of desperation. We have all heard the stories of people who break under circumstances that overwhelm them.=
What’s this but rationalization, LB?!
=I don’t think it excuses their behavior, but it explains it better than “they were evil, bad, nasty people”.=
Oh please. So how does one tell a good person from an evil one if both commit evil acts? What is your definition of evil, being a victim of circumstance?
In an effort to reduce the crime wave of thefts of our MP3 systems, we at Appall are pleased to announce the following additional features will shortly be available on the Next Generation iPod.
iClint – a voice processor which loudly states “Go ahead. Make my day”.
iStun – an inocuous-looking button on the iPod which discharges the battery – through the earbuds into the unwary listener.
iSuk – a memory device which automatically dumps all the good songs and substitutes Liberace, Montovani and Michael Jackson B-side songs.
iShed – a furry slipcase for an iPod which leaves Golden Retriever hair all over the thief’s pocket, couch and car, making detection easy.
iSneeze – a container located in the earbud yoke which discharges pepper into the face of the criminal, creating a sneezing attack which causes the iPod to be dropped near the scene of the crime.
iEye – when the iPod screen is raised to the thief’s face so they can work the menu, the picture of a pirate appears on the screen, yelling at them to “Avast, Matey”. Not always effective unless the thief is of diminished capacity and easily confused.
iDunno – does something. We’re just not sure WHAT it does, other than turn a nice profit.
iScream – instead of dispatching a police car to the crime scene, this feature sends a Good Humor truck.
iGotcha – a camera in the unit will snap photographs of the culprit, attach a serial number at the bottom of the image, and using the WiFi connection, send it to the nearest precinct along with geo coordinates.
iHoodie – a complete garment encorporating the iPod, necessitating the theft of the entire wardrobe. Will only be available in misses and women’s sizes 0 through 6.
iSpy – this unique unit will relocate the iPod into the heel of the user’s footwear. Not recommended for cyclists or when on treadmills unless using the optional wireless headphones.
Thank you for making our products the hottest product in the primary and resale markets!
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Explosive? I like your thinking Dread. Of course, that would complicate my getting the iPod back plus the lost music. Maybe an electrical charge? You can get a lot of juice out of a battery. Enough to cause some pretty cool physical effects.
And you are right, there is a certain element of society that tends toward these types of crime. There are also others that for some reason rationlize their behavior in the face of desperation. We have all heard the stories of people who break under circumstances that overwhelm them. I don’t think it excuses their behavior, but it explains it better than “they were evil, bad, nasty people”.
=There are also others that for some reason rationlize their behavior in the face of desperation. We have all heard the stories of people who break under circumstances that overwhelm them.=
What’s this but rationalization, LB?!
=I don’t think it excuses their behavior, but it explains it better than “they were evil, bad, nasty people”.=
Oh please. So how does one tell a good person from an evil one if both commit evil acts? What is your definition of evil, being a victim of circumstance?
In an effort to reduce the crime wave of thefts of our MP3 systems, we at Appall are pleased to announce the following additional features will shortly be available on the Next Generation iPod.
iClint – a voice processor which loudly states “Go ahead. Make my day”.
iStun – an inocuous-looking button on the iPod which discharges the battery – through the earbuds into the unwary listener.
iSuk – a memory device which automatically dumps all the good songs and substitutes Liberace, Montovani and Michael Jackson B-side songs.
iShed – a furry slipcase for an iPod which leaves Golden Retriever hair all over the thief’s pocket, couch and car, making detection easy.
iSneeze – a container located in the earbud yoke which discharges pepper into the face of the criminal, creating a sneezing attack which causes the iPod to be dropped near the scene of the crime.
iEye – when the iPod screen is raised to the thief’s face so they can work the menu, the picture of a pirate appears on the screen, yelling at them to “Avast, Matey”. Not always effective unless the thief is of diminished capacity and easily confused.
iDunno – does something. We’re just not sure WHAT it does, other than turn a nice profit.
iScream – instead of dispatching a police car to the crime scene, this feature sends a Good Humor truck.
iGotcha – a camera in the unit will snap photographs of the culprit, attach a serial number at the bottom of the image, and using the WiFi connection, send it to the nearest precinct along with geo coordinates.
iHoodie – a complete garment encorporating the iPod, necessitating the theft of the entire wardrobe. Will only be available in misses and women’s sizes 0 through 6.
iSpy – this unique unit will relocate the iPod into the heel of the user’s footwear. Not recommended for cyclists or when on treadmills unless using the optional wireless headphones.
Thank you for making our products the hottest product in the primary and resale markets!
S. Jobes
Way to go iNoon!! Great countermeasures…and all of them effective! Great job!!!
I second that!! iNoon rocks!
I’ll give up my iPod when they pry it from my cold, dead fingers!!