Fake Fire Marshals Descend on Rhode Island City

August 11, 2008

  • August 13, 2008 at 11:30 am
    Reality Bites says:
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    Calling Fire Marshall Bob!!!!!

    HEY RI – if the guy looks like Jim Carrey with a burn-graft face, please call Hollywood. Apparently he’s missing, as he hasn’t shown up for making his last two movies. Neither did the audiences, though, so if nobody missed him, is he missing?

    Why would someone impersonate a Fire Marshall? So they can ‘case the joint’? What, to steal a barcalounger or two (mismatched of course)?

    Are these criminals charging to install fire alarms or change batteries? Are they charging enough to cover their overhead? Are they short and green with glowing fingertips and smelling like beer?

    Heck, those are just the lobstah men. Loose from the lobstah pound, Mary. Let em in, folks, they like ladders and small cats simmering in gravy.

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